Thursday, October 10, 2013

We Just Love Them More!

The past few months have been a whirlwind.  I posted before about deciding to quit keeping Aubry and going to work at our MDO program at church.  It originally was going to be for 4 days a week.  For different reasons, it ended up being for only 3.  While I have LOVED being at home that extra day, our money situation just isn't improving.  About 2 weeks after I started, a coworker mentioned a part time social work position that was open at the Tennessee Baptist Children's Home.  I couldn't believe it.  Hearing part time and social work together was like music to my ears.  The only downside-it was in Millington.  I decided to call anyway and would spend the next several weeks meeting with them and speaking with them over the phone.
  Let me just say this ministry is amazing and I would have been so blessed to be a part of their team.  They were so kind and like me, praying for who should fill this position.  I wanted it too.  I love social work and really enjoyed the little time I spent doing it.  I always thought the car business would be a very temporary job until I could get back in my field.  Never in a million years did I think I would stay there 9 years.  The more I spoke with the people at the Ranch, the more excited I became....and a little more hesitant all at the same time.  It was a part time position....only 19 hours a week which happened to be mostly while my kids were out of school.  The money was double what I am making now....until you pay a sitter to keep Harper for the week and pay extra for the gas to get you to and from Millington everyday.
  We live paycheck to paycheck and most of the time still dip into savings.  Eventually, that money will run out.  I felt like I needed to take the job for my family and to help more with our bills.  I kept asking for everyone's advice and opinion, but no one could tell me what to do.  The thought of being away from my kids was heartbreaking.  We are so busy at nights, oftentimes those few hours in the afternoons are all we have.  Mimi was going to have to pitch in with the older kids until football season ended.  I was so confused and was supposed to head back to Millington in a few days to fill out more paperwork.  It was one heck of a process!!
  In the middle of all of this a teacher decided to quit at church.  I was asked if I wanted her class which would have me working the full four days.  They said I could go ahead and start bringing Harper with me two days and my mom is helping with the other two until after Christmas.  I couldn't believe the timing.  I don't make very much money at church, but Turner and now Harper are with me half the time, I can still get everyone to and from school, and I am only five minutes from the house.  It was becoming real clear that money can only factor so much into my decision.  I want to be with my kids.  I want to be available to them and here whenever they might need me.  I love social work....but I love them so much more.
  I had been praying and praying and was waiting for God to yell out what I should do.  I wanted it to be so clear and I wanted to be in his will.  Our Children's Director, also my boss, made it very clear to me.  He said that as long as you are living in holiness, obeying the clear principles from the scriptures, growing in Christlikeness, and still wonder what to do, just do what you want to do.  If God is my delight, then my desires will be pleasing to him, and doing any of them will be ok!!!  I don't think there was a right or wrong answer.  I think I can do social work and bring him glory, or I can teach at MDO and bring him glory.  But if I am at MDO, I can also have more quality time with my kids and instill in them these values as well.  So that is what I am doing.
  We will still be living paycheck to paycheck, and the money still will probably run out one day.  But I have watched God bless us over and over again throughout these past few years and I have complete faith that we will be ok.  These three kiddos are growing up so fast and for this short season I need to be home with them as much as I can.  So for now social work is again put on the back burner, and I am ok with that!!:)

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